hello people.... last night i had the weirdest dream. i was at a stadium, getting ready to watch slayer perform... and somehow i got back stage, where i was introduced to jeff haneman. jeff says to me, "i got 10 minutes til i have to hit the stage... wanna go for a ride on the beach in my truck?"... and i am like, "yeah, sure". so we jumped in his truck and drove at 100mph on the beach, and when we got to the end we stopped only to find two police cars waiting for us and they gave jeff a speeding ticket.
i need to make a point to remember my dreams more often....
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
medication update
i have modified my stance on the med issue yet again. the night i was feeling depressed, i was on a self imposed guilt trip about some things, and frankly, this colored my judgment on how the meds were effecting me. so anyways, i am back to only 100 milligrams of Zoloft in the morning as of about 10 days ago, and have had no ill effects. on the advice of a friend, i kept the melatonin in my regimen so that i am only changing one thing at a time. i will keep my readers (all two of them, i think) posted as more develops. cheers!
getting older.
my 37th birthday is this month. the 26th to be exact. send me well wishes if you care to. it amazes me that i feel much the same now as i did at age 19. that was the year "nevermind" by nirvana came out. in a few short years, it will have been 2 decades since that record hit the airwaves. my dad once told me (he was 43 at the time) that his brain felt no older than when he was in his 20s. he was right. i still want the same things out of life. i am still a human being. its just that the radio station that plays "the music you grew up with" regularly plays nirvana. its weird how i can feel old, yet so much the same as i was 17 years ago.
my freind glenn, who is 46, told me the other night that what he lacks in youth he makes up with immaturity. i like that. it made me laugh. don't need to take myself so seriously.
i am happy these days. and it is good to be happy.
my freind glenn, who is 46, told me the other night that what he lacks in youth he makes up with immaturity. i like that. it made me laugh. don't need to take myself so seriously.
i am happy these days. and it is good to be happy.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
the results of my recent medication experiment are in.
last wednesday i made some changes to my medication regimine.
i take clonapin twice daily, 200 milligrams of zoloft in the morning, and 20 milligrams of zyprexa at night, along with 3 milligrams of melotonin.... i had been sleeping too much and my sex drive was not as active as i would have liked.
so, back to last wednesday... i decided (with doctor's permission) to cut my zoloft intake in half, to help with the sex drive issue. and i decided on my own to not take melotonin.
the result is, i have become depressed over the past few days, have done nothing but sleep in said few days, and became markedly more depressed over the past 6 hours. it is 7am and i just took my morning meds, 200 mill. zoloft and clonapin- and since i have not slept since yesterday afternoon, i decided to take melotonin now....
i think the only other thing that needs to be tweaked would be forcing myself to take the morning and evening meds at roughly the same time each day.
i dont know about other folks in my boat, but having a creative inspiration happen can fuck things up too. last night, i found myself doing some composing with my friend mike (we have an electronic music project called the neverending nameless- look us up on myspace) and so, since the creative juices were flowing, i put off taking my night time meds. next thing i know, i am up for an additional 6 hours more than i had wanted- and i will probably have to cancell my plans for today.
i do think i would like to expand the scope of this blogspace to include my adventures with managing psychotropic meds. does anyone else have some experience to share?
cheers!
i take clonapin twice daily, 200 milligrams of zoloft in the morning, and 20 milligrams of zyprexa at night, along with 3 milligrams of melotonin.... i had been sleeping too much and my sex drive was not as active as i would have liked.
so, back to last wednesday... i decided (with doctor's permission) to cut my zoloft intake in half, to help with the sex drive issue. and i decided on my own to not take melotonin.
the result is, i have become depressed over the past few days, have done nothing but sleep in said few days, and became markedly more depressed over the past 6 hours. it is 7am and i just took my morning meds, 200 mill. zoloft and clonapin- and since i have not slept since yesterday afternoon, i decided to take melotonin now....
i think the only other thing that needs to be tweaked would be forcing myself to take the morning and evening meds at roughly the same time each day.
i dont know about other folks in my boat, but having a creative inspiration happen can fuck things up too. last night, i found myself doing some composing with my friend mike (we have an electronic music project called the neverending nameless- look us up on myspace) and so, since the creative juices were flowing, i put off taking my night time meds. next thing i know, i am up for an additional 6 hours more than i had wanted- and i will probably have to cancell my plans for today.
i do think i would like to expand the scope of this blogspace to include my adventures with managing psychotropic meds. does anyone else have some experience to share?
cheers!
contemplative ramblings.
sad sweet memories
everyone i've effected
for good or for bad
...
every new moment
time to start over again
let's pretend it's now
...
i hope anyone reading this is feeling happy and healthy. cheers!
everyone i've effected
for good or for bad
...
every new moment
time to start over again
let's pretend it's now
...
i hope anyone reading this is feeling happy and healthy. cheers!
Monday, March 23, 2009
a piece of pizza on the sidewalk covered with ants.
there once was a man from the coast
who dined each morning on toast
he had a huge ego
and everywhere he'd go
he'd show off and brag and boast
...
gold fish in water
race round the plastic tree stump
i'll stare serenely
...
thats all outta me tonight.... the limerick was pretty lame, but it came to mind so there you go.
who dined each morning on toast
he had a huge ego
and everywhere he'd go
he'd show off and brag and boast
...
gold fish in water
race round the plastic tree stump
i'll stare serenely
...
thats all outta me tonight.... the limerick was pretty lame, but it came to mind so there you go.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
nondescript poetry day sleeper dreaming of elliott smith.
line up for the phone
lines crawling on to the slime
we're all the same kind
...
the moon drifts on up
as the sun is going down
now i am asleep
...
sad sweet bitter song
died so young but made your mark
miss you, elliott
...
lines crawling on to the slime
we're all the same kind
...
the moon drifts on up
as the sun is going down
now i am asleep
...
sad sweet bitter song
died so young but made your mark
miss you, elliott
...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
tuesday afternoon high kooz.
now i am going
to race ahead of myself
and live right here now
...
fading in and out
reality a prison
wake up and walk out
...
i was stoned back then
every second switch channels
didn't care at all
...
mind blank bland tied up
break the shell and scream at last
so you will know me
...
to race ahead of myself
and live right here now
...
fading in and out
reality a prison
wake up and walk out
...
i was stoned back then
every second switch channels
didn't care at all
...
mind blank bland tied up
break the shell and scream at last
so you will know me
...
Monday, March 16, 2009
jane's addiction are charging $150 for a ticket to see them live. i won't be going.
fucktard money whore
monkey trick from years ago
dried up has-been thief
...
that's all for tonight.
monkey trick from years ago
dried up has-been thief
...
that's all for tonight.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
the jesus lizard psychotic episode mosh pit
drunken howl and puke
frenzie stage dive pervert dick
only to be drole
...
spawned a million kids
sex club kindred soul loser
out on the street dead
...
spin around and fall
sweat slam slither don't kill me
all in happy fun
...
happy happy joy joy. more haikus... and more to come.
frenzie stage dive pervert dick
only to be drole
...
spawned a million kids
sex club kindred soul loser
out on the street dead
...
spin around and fall
sweat slam slither don't kill me
all in happy fun
...
happy happy joy joy. more haikus... and more to come.
Friday, March 13, 2009
haikus composed while listening to "terraform" LP by shellac.
shellac albini
endless minor labyrinth
driving me brainy
...
melting springy gut
bouncy treble riff asshole
give ears a boner
...
precise fucktastic
listening orgy delight
you make my money
...
wall shit stain lovers
such elegant poetry
ugly makes good art
...
bust off a fast one
i turned you on and stopped dead
quicky leaves you hung
...
there you go, children... a few dealie bobs - some descriptive of steve albini and his guitar playing, some inspired by the lyrics on the album.... til next time.
endless minor labyrinth
driving me brainy
...
melting springy gut
bouncy treble riff asshole
give ears a boner
...
precise fucktastic
listening orgy delight
you make my money
...
wall shit stain lovers
such elegant poetry
ugly makes good art
...
bust off a fast one
i turned you on and stopped dead
quicky leaves you hung
...
there you go, children... a few dealie bobs - some descriptive of steve albini and his guitar playing, some inspired by the lyrics on the album.... til next time.
Monday, March 9, 2009
a pair of haikus for this day
awaiting sleep now-
my mind goes the speed of light-
a day well wasted.
...
anticipation
blood rushing erotic bliss-
slow down and ride it.
...
there will be more of these as they come to me.
my mind goes the speed of light-
a day well wasted.
...
anticipation
blood rushing erotic bliss-
slow down and ride it.
...
there will be more of these as they come to me.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
a new place for aric to post pix, haikus and whatever else strikes my fancy
hello people... (actually, i don't yet know who is gonna be even looking this up.... besides lyn... hi sweetie...)
here are a few haikus i wrote over the past two days:
happiness is found
not in man-made pitch darkness
but in endless soul
and...
truth makes me naked
wishing i could hide myself-
but light makes me whole
and...
when i came in here,
i left a peice of my heart
outside in the rain.
hope someone digs this... i have been thinking lately that i need to be focusing on making observations about things in my art, more than being stuck in endless introspection. i would think that this will make lyrics and poetry more "everyman" and less... less whatever its been in the past....
til next time, be excellent and run naked in the streets! -a.
here are a few haikus i wrote over the past two days:
happiness is found
not in man-made pitch darkness
but in endless soul
and...
truth makes me naked
wishing i could hide myself-
but light makes me whole
and...
when i came in here,
i left a peice of my heart
outside in the rain.
hope someone digs this... i have been thinking lately that i need to be focusing on making observations about things in my art, more than being stuck in endless introspection. i would think that this will make lyrics and poetry more "everyman" and less... less whatever its been in the past....
til next time, be excellent and run naked in the streets! -a.
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